Lets Talk About Sex. Your Relationship Depends on It.

by | Feb 26, 2016 | Health Featured

New research has revealed the top five factors involved in creating a healthy, fulfilled sexual relationship. The information was compiled in a joint effort conducted by the historically infamous Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, California State University, Sonoma State University, and Chapman University of Orange, California. The results of their study will be published in the Journal of Sex Research.

In the course of their research the team polled 39,000 heterosexual men and women in long-term relationships, the median ages of those polled were 40 for women and 46 for men. The participants were asked what how they recalled satisfaction in their relationships at their six month anniversaries and how it compared to their feelings about the same relationship presently. The responses of those who remained happy in the long-term pointed to communication as the most important factor in keeping their relationships whole. There were five common sexual subjects that reappeared over and over again:

Praise for Sexual Performance

Everyone wants to know when they’ve done a good job. That includes your partner, not just the family dog. Go on, throw her a bone now and then, it’ll let her know you care.

Sexual Requests from a Partner

Really, how many of us are card carrying psychics? Let us know what you want and then we can work on giving it to you. Its a lot more effective if you say it yourself than if we have to guess or go to a magazine for inspiration.

Asking a Partner for Something Sexual

Again, no mind readers here. It can be surprisingly difficult to simply as for something you want, but chances are, its going to turn your partner on when you tell them just what it is that makes your motor hum.

Flirting via Phone or Email While Apart

No more out of sight out of mind. A little suggestive hint dropping throughout the day when you’re apart can build healthy sexual tension like nothing else. Hubby in Albuquerque for a week? Fan that ember while he’s away and find a babysitter for the night he comes home. If you meet him in the elevator you’ll never make it through the door.

Requesting Feedback About Sex

More mind reading, I’m afraid. Ask if your partner liked the reverse cowboy, or if it really bothers him when you sing the national anthem after an orgasm. Really people, if you don’t ask and he won’t tell its not going anywhere.

In addition to the reminder to communicate, communicate, communicate, the study found that those in happy relationships engaged in a lot of what we’ll call mood-setting activities. The most important of those are:

Saying “I Love You.”

75% of males and 74% of females who claimed to be content in their relationships reported that their partner regularly told them “I love you” during the deed.

Using “Sexy Talk”

Who says double entendre is dead? A little verbal foreplay goes a long way. Talk dirty to me and see where it gets you.

Laugh About The Funny Stuff

When something a little weird happens during sex you can either laugh about it or pretend it didn’t happen. Embrace the moment, funny is funny and sex should be about enjoyment so don’t be afraid to enjoy the awkward too.

Mood Lighting

Use the dimmer switch, light a few candles, and for crying out loud, shut off the search lights. Seriously, setting the mood for love can go a long way toward creating the sultry experience you’re both looking for.

Play a Little Mood Music

Maybe its not Barry White that gets you there, but there’s sure to be a soundtrack out there that suits your sexual mood. Choose something light, or a more powerful beat, whatever sets the mood for both of you.

Maybe we can all take a little of what those researchers discovered home and put it to good use. Let’s talk about sex…and we’ll all love a little better.

Share This