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Dwight: “This morning I knocked myself in the head with the phone.”

Jim: “That actually took a while. I had to put more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then I just took them all out.”

— Dwight K. Schrute and Jim Halpert, The Office

Well, we hope you got all of your pranks out of your system yesterday, because we have some very serious news.

As part

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