CHICAGO—Saying the new pass offered the perfect option for those looking to attend the festival in comfort and style, Lollapalooza organizers unveiled a new air-conditioned, soundproof tent expressly catering to people who definitely shouldn’t have come to this. “Our new Platinum Lux Pass allows individuals who have absolutely no place in a hot, crowded music festival like Lollapalooza to come here anyway without ever having to deal with the hassle of hearing music or getting anywhere close to the crowd,” said Charlie Jones, co-owner of the festival, noting that for only $5,000 per day attendees would be able to skip the entry lines entirely and instead be whisked directly into a climate-controlled, insulated room that had been expressly designed for people who

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