People, especially climate change deniers, love it when you prove them wrong. If someone says they don’t believe in global warming, try saying the following things.Advertisement“I also hate that Florida is above water.”List slides“I also hate that Florida is above water.” Establishing common ground is crucial to a healthy discourse.Advertisement“And would you prefer that as a check or a wire transfer, Senator?”List slides“And would you prefer that as a check or a wire transfer, Senator?” This one works on most congresspeople, too.Advertisement“The earth that will soon become uninhabitable is the same earth that guns are on.”List slides“The earth that will soon become uninhabitable is the same earth that guns are on.” Appeal to their emotional side by tying in issues they are more likely to care about.Advertisement“Think of your children, if you like any of them.”List slides“Think of your children, if you like any of them.” Urge them to consider a future in which their middle child who’s pretty decent is constantly suffering.Advertisement“If sea levels rise, thousands of New Yorkers could relocate to your hometown.”List slides“If sea levels rise, thousands of New Yorkers could relocate to your hometown.” Let them know that wildfires and heat waves aren’t the only horrific side effects of climate change.Advertisement“Harvey Keitel believes in climate change.”List slides“Harvey Keitel believes in climate change.” Whoa, the star of Sister Act and Little Nicky?Advertisement“Major corporations have been working so hard to dump pollutants into the sea and sky, and they deserve to be recognized for their labor.”List slides“Major corporations have been working so hard to dump pollutants into the sea and sky, and they deserve to be recognized for their labor.” Imagine how they feel, their years of passionate toil being ignored!Advertisement“I have some beachfront property you might be interested in.”List slides“I have some beachfront property you might be interested in.” Climate change deniers are the perfect people to dump your quickly disappearing beachfront property onto.Advertisement“I think I’m…falling for you”List slides“I think I’m…falling for you” Before you win over their brain, you need to win their heart.Advertisement“Tell me the truth, off the record.”List slides“Tell me the truth, off the record.” Only after you make this disclaimer can ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods freely discuss the many horrors his company created.Advertisement“The sun is angry and is being mean to the glaciers.”List slides“The sun is angry and is being mean to the glaciers.” If you feel them losing interest in the conversation, break things down into the simplest terms possible.Advertisement“Aight.”List slides“Aight.” Why stress when you know humanity won’t get their act together in time?Advertisement“Global warming has been linked to penis failure.”List slides“Global warming has been linked to penis failure.” It’s worth a shot.Advertisement“Well, you’ve always hated Earth.”List slides“Well, you’ve always hated Earth.” Remind them that their longstanding grudge against the planet has probably clouded their judgment.Advertisement“An evil mage cast an Earth-heating spell.”List slides“An evil mage cast an Earth-heating spell.” If facts and scientific journals aren’t enough, try this to get them on board.Advertisement“Some of my best friends are melting glaciers.”List slides“Some of my best friends are melting glaciers.” They might reconsider their stance knowing your loved ones are affected by their beliefs.Advertisement“I’ve personally dumped enough toxic waste into the ocean to make an irreversible impact.”List slides“I’ve personally dumped enough toxic waste into the ocean to make an irreversible impact.” Providing evidence of your heinous acts of pollution might convince them it’s real.Advertisement“Do you think The Day After Tomorrow would have been the sixth highest-grossing film of 2004 if there wasn’t a ring of truth to it?”List slides“Do you think The Day After Tomorrow would have been the sixth highest-grossing film of 2004 if there wasn’t a ring of truth to it?” Emmy Rossum wasn’t even famous at that point, so they won’t be able to pin that on her.Advertisement“You said cats didn’t exist, but then I showed you one.”List slides“You said cats didn’t exist, but then I showed you one.” Kindly remind them they were wrong once before.Advertisement“There’s overwhelming scientific consensus supporting climate change.”List slides“There’s overwhelming scientific consensus supporting climate change.” Probably not going to faze them, but you have to at least put that shit out there.Advertisement“Climate change is going to disproportionately impact wealthy people in developed countries.”List slides“Climate change is going to disproportionately impact wealthy people in developed countries.” Hearing this upsetting claim may rouse concern in even the toughest deniers.Advertisement“You should switch to QAnon, I think you’d have more fun.”List slides“You should switch to QAnon, I think you’d have more fun.” Help them find the conspiracy theory that’s right for them, by showing them QAnon is way more enjoyable rabbit hole.Advertisement …
What To Say To Someone Who Denies Climate Change – The Onion
