Advice | Ask Damon: I’m going into adult entertainment. What if people find out? – The Washington Post

by | Nov 4, 2022 | Entertainment

Comment on this storyCommentGift ArticleHi Damon: I expect to soon enter a niche of the adult entertainment industry. I intend to take all precautions to do so anonymously. But if I am successful, the warm blanket of anonymity may one day disappear. How should I respond if and when this knowledge becomes commonly known in my community? For the record, I am not ashamed, and I wish to simply respond with grace. But I expect that it may be uncomfortable. Any suggestions?— AnonymousAnonymous: My first question, of many, is uncomfortable for whom? You’ve articulated a peace with the decision you’ve made to enter the adult entertainment industry.So who will these conversations be uncomfortable for? I ask because shame is tricky and sneaky and slithery, and it sometimes finds a path to a place we assumed was protected. Some of your language choices (“the warm blanket of anonymity”) suggest that you might have some trepidation, which is a natural thing when starting anything new, particularly something with the potential to polarize. AdvertisementBut I think that, before even considering how other people might feel once they discover your new gig, you should be honest with yourself about how you’ll feel. Could it have a negative effect on your mental health and emotional well-being? Are you prepared for what might happen if people you care about treat you differently? What about acquaintances or random people on the street? Also, how many communities do you belong to? Because a response from your buddies from college might be different from a response from your buddies from church.Follow Damon YoungFollowAddIt must also be said that there’s a tangible risk of your work having a negative effect on your livelihood. I don’t just mean friends and family, but your money. I’ve lost count of the number of stories I’ve read about schoolteachers losing their jobs after an OnlyFans account was discovered. I don’t know what you do for a living. Perhaps it’s not the same sort of public-facing occupation that drives people to be aggressively puritanical. Either way, the risk is real.Anything past what I’ve offered so far is beyond my expertise. Fortunately, I know an expert. Jessica Stoya (with Rich Juzwiak) writes Slate’s How to Do It sex advice column. I’ve been a fan of it for years. Her advice is always thoughtful, radical, rigorous and conscientious (and sometimes even funny), so I reached out to her for some help.AdvertisementStoya writes: “Generally speaking, there’s a lot of debunking to do. For instance, people outside of adult work tend to think camming and OnlyFans is masturbating all day and miss the marketing, bookkeeping, legal paperwork, and physical upkeep involved. Other major misconceptions stem from news stories ab …

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