Dear Quentin, I read one of your recent letters from a public-school teacher whose boyfriend wanted half the cost of a vacation when they broke up. He works on Wall Street. This brought to mind my ex demanding that I pay half of our daughter’s uncovered medical bill. He was making about three times what I do.
So here’s my question: When there’s a big disparity in pay — is 50% of dinner, mortgage, medical bills, vacation, utilities and other shared expenses justified? Wouldn’t a more equitable solution be based on income? Like if I make $50,000 and my partner makes $150,000, wouldn’t an equitable arrangement be for me to pay 25%? I know now that money should be a frank and practical discussion in any situation, but I’m wondering what your take is on this. Mother Left Holding the BillDear Rebecca, There’s rarely such a thing as “fair” in a breakup, especially when it comes to finances. If one ex is paying alimony and child support, they may leave the marriage with years of lingering resentments over how much they have to pay their ex. For a couple that had a child together, and did not get married, the issue is more complicated but the absent parent is compelled by the law to pay child support. In that case, child support pertains to the responsibility for raising a child. For parents who never married, it’s harder to argue that you should only pay medical bills for your child in propor …