Dear Quentin, I’ve read your advice to other people. I’ve suffered with my own financial and family problems for a long, long time. I would value your thoughts. My younger brother became a lifelong drug addict when he was a teenager. My father, who grew up in an orphanage, provided him with financial support that enabled him to, as my brother once said, have a home and family while “being too drugged to ever see them clearly.”
He saw his whole world through a haze. He also said that getting off drugs was difficult enough, but when our parents financially support his addiction life became impossible for him. My father purchased some things, including my brother’s house or cars for him, but kept them in his name so my brother could not sell them. He created opportunities for my brother to steal from him. Sometimes he would send my brother to collect thousands of dollars from a customer, and the money would of course go missing.
“‘My father created opportunities for my brother to steal from him. Sometimes he would send my brother to collect thousands of dollars from a customer, and the money would go missing.’”
Another time he sent my brother to his house and left several bank passbooks on a counter. These situations let my father claim that he was robbed by my brother, and that he was not giving my brother money to buy drugs. This went on for decades. I often had nightmares that my brother needed me to rescue him, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it. Of course, I pleaded with my father many times and even had thoughts of harming him to free my brother. Once I called the district attorney’s office and begged for help. I was told that no crime was being committed. Question 1: What else could I have done? After my father died my mother continued this …