Retirement Weekly: Want to get closer to your grandchild? It’s not enough to shower them with love.

by | Apr 14, 2023 | Stock Market

Here’s how to spot new grandparents: They’re beaming. They bask in the glow of their adorable grandchildren and lavish the little tikes with love and affection. But some grandparents don’t stay happy for long. As a toddler grows into a child and then a teen, the relationship can turn cold and unsatisfying for a grandparent who craves closeness.

By the time a kid hits puberty, stonewalling can set in. Grandparents call and leave messages to no avail. They send gifts and get a cursory “thank you” at best. When they do see their grandchildren, the conversation sputters to a halt. What gives? “Don’t take it personally,” said Thomas Verny, M.D., a clinical psychiatrist in Ontario, Canada. “It’s like running for office. You have to get out there and campaign.” Ideally, grandparents establish their stabilizing presence soon after the grandchild’s birth. They take an interest from the get-go and remain a loving constant in the youngster’s life. “But if you live far from the grandchild and first appear on the domestic scene when the child is 10, it will take a lot of work to build trust,” said Verny, author of “The Embodied Mind.” “Don’t be upset if they resist at the beginning.” …

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