Dear Quentin, I’m getting married later this year. I make about $150,000 a year, and I have no debt. He makes $90,000 a year. So I obviously have more disposable income. I want to travel and buy nice things for the house (we live in his house and have mine rented). He wants to travel, too, but often he doesn’t have enough savings for that.
I have no children, and I don’t want kids. My fiancé has a 16-year old boy and pays child support. He has $15,000 in debt and, in my opinion, he doesn’t manage his money very well. He buys little things all the time, like clothing, and goes to concerts. He doesn’t mind adding to his credit card bill, as he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. All of those things add up.
“‘He has never asked me to pay for anything, but if I offer, he accepts.’”
Given that I have the money, maybe I should pay for some of his expenses? I’m conflicted. Do I pay for some of his expenses so he doesn’t keep getting into debt? Do I just let him use his credit card, since he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it? He has never asked me to pay for anything, but if I offer, he accepts. We have separate bank accounts. I have helped him pay off some of his debt, but his debts don’t seem to go away. I want to be a good partner since I have the money, but he also needs to become a better money manager, or things will never change. I thought about paying him more in rent so he can have more money, but I decided he would just spend it on more stuff instead of paying his debt. Maybe it’s OK for two people in a couple to be in different financial situations. How do I help? Is it a bad idea to marry now? Has anyone else been in this situation? Worried Ab …